What We've Been Writing #14: Everyone has an origin story
A new year supposedly means a fresh start, so here's a collection of pieces that pretty much are origin stories in one way or another. Although, who's to tell if they're really the start of something?
Something’s been happening to the Filipino community on Substack in the last few weeks: it’s been growing. It’s been growing quite quickly. There are those who have joined the Stack Natin directory—and there’s a lot of you—and then there are those who haven’t, but somehow still catch my attention as the algorithm realizes that I’m looking for people who share a similar geographical background as me.
It feels like a tipping point, the precise moment when something potentially fantastic starts. Or maybe it’s when something catastrophic creeps in, something we don’t notice until it’s just almost too late. With that in mind, as well as the whole thing about the start of a new year being an opportunity for a new beginning, this month’s digest is loosely around origin stories… whether we call it that, or we’re not aware that it is.
A story of creation (not that one)
Let’s begin with a post that literally calls itself an origin story. Well, according to summer ✮⋆˙.ᐟ, it could be an origin story.
i wrote because my body needed somewhere to put what it couldn’t carry anymore. the rage. the longing. the unspeakable wanting. when my chest felt too tight, when my stomach turned sour with holding back, i wrote. when i stayed silent with the people i loved, i spoke on the page. the page didn’t flinch. it didn’t ask me to be generous with my empathy. it didn’t ask me to be kind. it let me be incoherent, desperate, selfish — and still stay. it was the first place i didn’t have to lie just to be loved.
At the risk of possibly spoiling this post… this really isn’t the whole story yet. I feel where this all heads lies in a photo caption, and—although I know this sounds incredibly voyeuristic—I am keen to see where this leads.
Speaking of writing, here’s another self-proclaimed origin story. At least Maymay in Progress confidently calls it such. She also talks about how she began to write.
I started writing because I was introduced to stories and reading early on. I started writing because I genuinely enjoyed reading and how the words, when put together, created conversations and stories. Stories I enjoyed and return to from time to time.
When it comes to reading, I remember my mama being an important part of it. I am the eldest of 9 kids. Mama most probably had more energy to still read me stories when I was little. When I was young, I can recall we had books by Dr. Seuss and the classics. Remember those storybooks with a gold strip on the side? We had lots of those. We lost those when we moved to Bohol.
Ahh, I also did grow up with Little Golden Books coming from family friends who were fortunate enough to have flown abroad. Okay, let me jump to the end, and to one last bit.
Writing feels like breathing for me these days, so I feel I am repressed when I am not able to. I hope I keep writing no matter the circumstances I am in and no matter what I’m feeling.
And this is when I wear my other publication’s cap and express my excitement at how ena mori has started her own space here. One of the most exciting names in Philippine music today, her second album won the top prize at the Awit Awards (our equivalent of the Grammys) back in 2023, and she dropped a new EP a few months back. But I’m featuring her post discussing her own origin story with music.
[The] first time my fingers pressed the keys, something lit up inside me—a spark that crackled through my brain like a secret only I could hear.
I listened to the notes I played and compared them to the songs humming from the radio in my grandpa’s car.
Sometimes they matched.
Sometimes they didn’t.
But in that tiny space between sound and silence, I felt a strange joy… the feeling of discovering something that belonged only to me, something that asked for nothing in return. My love of music began there, and it slowly became my method of organizing the world.
A story of transformation
The name of Bom’s (second) publication has always intrigued me: Pangarap Kong Maging Hot and Other Stories. “My dream is to be hot.” Here she is, finally addressing the title, about how she didn’t have the urge to be attractive back then… until her biological clock did the urging for her.
I totally did not get the point of dressing up for a man. I survived this life by my smarts. I am one of those nearing her forties who never had a hoe phase, who never flirted, part of those they labeled NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth). An anomaly. Its not as if its necessary to have one. It is inconvenient to get Pregnant anyway. I was fine with my adventurous, clandestine, solo life. But it felt like I missed out on the Female experience. It felt like a moral failing. I was one of those ones who kept on being asked: Maganda ka naman, Maganda Trabaho mo, ba’t wala ka pang Jowa? Choosy ka siguro.
Until you hit your late 30s, and there came this urge that almost drove me crazy.
The urge where you’re body screams HEYYYY YOU’RE A WOMAN, Tick Tock, GET SOME!!!
It’s not entirely a story about how she began to… think of the male gaze here. There is a lot she tackles in her piece, and I feel you’ll be the richer for reading it.
Speaking of transformation, I’ve been keeping an eye on Linart Seprioto’s posts since he vacationed in Taipei, a city that I love (and honestly miss—I have been visiting Hong Kong more). Turns out that, for him, it was a turning point, and so we are most likely witnessing an origin story unfold right before our eyes. (No spoilers here: the piece is named “I decided to leave my job”.)
While the trip would indeed be fun, it wasn’t actually a vacation. I’d been invited to an in-person meetup with twenty or so creators, a chance to finally meet some Internet friends in real life.
The day I arrived in Ximending, I was in awe. I enjoyed the vibrant colors all around the district. The artsy street designs, the anime gacha machines, even the Hello Kitty-themed 7-Eleven.
Being in a new country for the first time, I knew that my life would change the moment I stepped off the plane. I knew I’d inevitably become a new person. But I had no idea just how much things would change once the trip was over.
A story of identity
It’s interesting how it’s not uncommon to encounter posts that first saw life as a school submission. This post from chin is for one of her sociology classes, but does capture a little bit of a life most of us in the Philippines don’t think of much: being born Filipino but growing up in the Middle East—Saudi Arabia, in this specific case—where many have gone to work on its oil rigs and refineries (and, of course, as domestic helpers too).
Being a [Third Culture Kid] made me embrace cultural diversity but also feel distanced from either of my identities be it as a “Saudi kid” or a Filipino citizen. In relation to our colonial history, we were taught in schools to have patriotism to the Philippines. But even if we were taught of our national identity in schools, it feels different because we still live far away from the Philippines. We were also subjugated to conform to the regulations, norms, and culture of KSA. If Filipino kids in the Philippines play luksong baka or tumbang preso as a pastime, we only play it because it is a sport in our intramurals. At the same time, I felt that there is an implicit devaluation of the Filipino identity which might be rooted in the distance we felt as “Filipinos” away from our “homeland”-- the Philippines.
Sticking with national identity, it’s about time I feature a post from Datu Kidlat on these parts. To be honest, his pieces are well-researched and well-thought through, but they can be really intense reads—the sort that you really have to devote time to. From my perspective, though, it was a matter of finding the right fit for the digests, and his latest piece, written in light of recent actions by the United States government under Donald Trump, feels like a reckoning that an entire country raised on American values and American pop culture should at least consider.
When we talk about Filipino history, the former colonizers of Spain and Japan get demonized (and rightfully so), yet none of this vitriol is targeted to American colonial rule, nor is any of this vitriol targeted towards continued American influence post-independence. And their influence, while you can argue some of it being “good”, is also quite self-serving and has contributed to the erasing of local culture. America has somehow been seen as one of the more benevolent imperial rulers, but alas, there is no such thing as a benevolent colonizer.
There’s still a long way, though. If you “hate” America, you must be an activist, and somehow, in this country, leaning to the left politically is still seen as a scary thing.
I’d like to end with a piece from Erica D. Estoya, which is as straightforward as it gets: she talks about her surname, one that she never really had a connection with. (Spoiler: it’s not the one she currently has.)
[My] last name at birth followed me around like an animal hunting its prey. It literally was the name of an animal, which humiliated me growing up. As a teenager, I Googled myself to discover my name was nearly identical to the stage name used by a Toronto-area escort, which was likewise humiliating. I longed to change it, and specifically to extricate myself from the original family who imposed it upon us: the people who had so failed to love my father that he was rendered incapable of fully loving himself.
It’s been a very busy time on the directory, so hello to those who joined over the last few weeks: babae, blue, Christopher M. Lapinig, Clarisse Corporation, Erica D. Estoya, Fran Ayala, Jazmin Banal, Laura Linga, Michael B., rei who remembers, renea, thoughts of a young poet, Tiara, Tisha Evite, toni agatha, Vince Imbat and Yellie! (And breathe. That is a lot.) You can be part of the Stack Natin directory too, but you have to fill up the form first. Or you can browse the directory and find your next favorite read.
Thanks for the feature, Niko!
Such a great roundup, thanks for the feature Niko!! :)